THE ISSUE OF INHERITANCE

8 February 2025

The three of us former schoolmates from Class ’76 — Anna, Nina, and I, Celia, are on a long car drive, chatting away about our problems in life.  The topic turns to inheritance issues.

Disclaimer: This story is a composite of various interviews held. The characters are fictional, and the photo above is for illustration purposes only.

I share my own story. I have been trying to raise money to help one of my sons send his children to private schools. I say, “Do you know that private universities now charge upwards of Php50,000 (US$1,000+) tuition alone per student, per semester?  It is terribly expensive, and when you have several children, it becomes downright unaffordable, but you know naman what public schools are like in this country, so there's really no choice.”

“Celia,” Anna interrupts, “We remember you had this big house where we used to hold parties during our college years. What happened to that house”? 

“That was the house of my parents, but my brother Ben is staying there now. He has a big family, and his children all seem to have uncertain means of livelihood. So, his whole family lives there.

“Ben refuses to leave the house, but of course, there are five of us siblings. As natural heirs, we all need to sign the Deed of Sale if we wish to sell the house and divvy the proceeds, which is really what the rest of us want to do. But Ben also refuses to sign any sale document. Until now, we are still in some sort of limbo. My husband and children are pressuring me to do something about it, but at my age, “ayaw ko na magpagulo. Bahala na”.  (I don’t want any more stress. Come what may).

Nina enjoins, “Who holds the title?  In my case, there are three of us siblings. I am the eldest; I have been keeping the titles of the family properties even during the days of our parents.  My brother is a doctor and lives in the States—he’s doing very well and doesn’t need the money. On the other hand, my sister is living off the pension of her husband, and her little businesses are not doing so well. So, I have decided to give the house of my parents to her—I’m already arranging the paperwork. My brother is complaining—he thinks he also has a right to his inheritance. He is so swapang talaga (greedy, really). I just ignore him. You know, Celia, you can always fake Ben’s signature if you need to. It’s easy. For myself, I think I have the moral duty to help my sister who needs the money more.”  

“I don’t know that I agree with you, Nina,”  I counter. “I think your brother has every right to demand his full inheritance. Who are you to decide for him? How can you be so sure who needs money and who doesn’t? These are all your perceptions. And anyway, if your sister is truly in need and your brother has more than enough, perhaps you can talk to him and appeal to his generosity and love for his sister. Personally, I think you should not usurp his rights. Maybe our ideas about fairness are just different. Or maybe you don't think fairness is important."

Anna has been quiet. To deflect what can be a potential argument between Nina and myself, Nina asks Anna, “How about you, Anna, your family has some assets too, and your parents have passed, right? Do you have any inheritance issues”? 

“Sino ba ang may assets dito sa Pilipinas na walang inheritance issue? Kahit ang maid ko sa bahay na ang mga magulang ay may kaunting lupa sa probinsiya, nag-aaway silang magkakapatid."  (Who among Filipinos with assets do not have inheritance issues? Even my helper in the house whose parents owned a small lot in the province have family squabbles over the land).

Anna continues, “My own mother, who survived my father, even had a Will. But Wills here don’t work, as you know, unless all the siblings respect it, or you go to court. But if you do, you’re just making the lawyers rich. After years of litigation, your case will end nowhere. Anyway, my family never had big houses like you two, but yes, of course, we had inheritance issues.”

“I remember after my mother died, we all went to the bank to close her account and empty her deposit box. She kept important papers and her jewellery there, nothing of big value like so many millionaires here. Anyhow, my two sisters each kept one of the two copies of the key to the safe deposit box, but when we four siblings opened the box, her jewellery was gone!  Each sister blamed the other, and that has caused estrangement among us siblings. We used to be very close, you know. I feel so sad that the years when we bonded, did things for each other, and protected each other—they’re all gone over what? Mere things!"

In the end, we three friends agree that despite our frustrations, we are lucky we don’t belong to traditional Filipino-Chinese families. For example, I have a Filipina-Chinese friend who depends on dole-outs from her super-rich two brothers. But they claim she had already been given her dowry when she married. It's not their fault that the dowry money is all gone. They don’t see her having any rights to anything else.

We continue gossiping. Personally, I find these stories enlightening, and in a strange way, they make me feel good about my own situation.

We three are all comfortably well-off. Still, we don't belong to the super-rich in Manila. You don't have to look hard to find them--all the Who’s Who in the country who have cases languishing in court, and their dirty linens paraded all over the newspapers. In one famous case, the brother-in-law shot dead one of the siblings during an altercation over the division of the properties. His sister sided with her husband, and in no time, the family was divided into two camps. Nevertheless, the case filed in court was promptly settled because the husband was a close relative of one of the most powerful politicians in the country. This, however, did not resolve the issue as the third generation who have absolutely nothing to do with the quarrel, still don’t talk to each other unless they belong to the same camp.

Talking about court cases, another well-known family of six siblings have been at each other’s throats since the 1990s--from allegations over the patriarch’s abduction, to false medications, to supposedly forged documents. These suits and countersuits are still being argued in court more than 25 years hence.

The issues are complicated when the “favourite” of the surviving spouse coopts their sympathy, or when more "savvy" in-laws join the family. In one case of four siblings, the youngest daughter who was a rather “unproductive artist,” was largely left out of the mana (inheritance). The reason was that she had been supported by her family all her life. Everyone else worked in the family business except her. When it came time to divide the assets, the siblings decided to continue her allowance instead. This went on for some time, and she was quite happy with the arrangement until she married a lawyer.  Her husband then argued about her legal rights and about the unfairness of the whole affair. She didn’t work in the family business because she was never asked. Nothing was ever explained—she simply had to sign whatever document was presented to her. Additionally, her husband reasoned out that it was humiliating to have to beg for money when it was rightfully hers. And so, the fights and arguments went on and on. 

We finally reach our destination. I, and I suppose my schoolmates as well, feel relieved that we have had the opportunity to air our grievances and to discover that our problems, which we had thought were unique to us, are commonly experienced in the Philippines.

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COMMENTARY

It is sad to note that members of many Filipino families, so closely knit during their early years, should end up wrangling with each other over material things. I have wondered about this for some time. How is it possible that an older sister, for example, makes major financial sacrifices to get her siblings to school, sometimes even postpones marriage because of perceived obligations towards her family, and then later clashes with these same siblings over assets their parents might have left behind? Or an older brother who decides to leave school and friends to work overseas in cargo ships under inhospitable conditions so he could send funds home to help his parents and siblings? What has happened in the intervening years that should create such alienating fights over inheritance—perhaps a plot of land, or the house the parents had lived in?

I think there are several explanations centred around the discontinuities of life experiences. During the early years, the dominant parent – usually the mother – holds the family together. She organises the family rituals, such as lunch every Sunday, celebrations during Christmas, birthdays, graduations and other events important to the family. Additionally, the family goes for out-of-town holiday trips where bonds are tightened, and members are reminded to love and protect each other. After the death of the last parent, however, siblings stop participating in these family rituals, or continue to see each other regularly.

Even as the loved parent is no longer around to keep their loyalty, many members have also married and are now raising their own children. Thus, there are new duties and responsibilities towards a new family. Especially, spouses may not share the same bonds of love and loyalty to the original family, perhaps even holding different views altogether. When these new realities are coupled with the loss of old rituals, they cause disengagements until the now loosened bonds break over the issue of inheritance.

Further, problems arise over how each member views fairness as a moral virtue. Presuming each one is honest and committed to fairness, definitions likewise may vary with each member. Does it mean equality, i.e., the same for everyone? Or equity, i.e., each according to their need? (People have different circumstances and may need different support in order to achieve similar outcomes). Or equitableness, i.e., equity plus impartiality? The problem with “impartiality” is its even greater subjectivity. In short, equality is more objective than equity, and equity more objective than equitableness.

The misunderstanding between Nina and Celia in the short account above probably stems from their definition of fairness. Celia believes in equality, as does Philippine inheritance law. The brother has equal legal rights as a natural heir. On the other hand, Nina believes in equity. The younger sister needs more financial support. Whilst at first glance, equity seems the more morally sound as already mentioned above, it is more difficult to assess objectively. Hence, laws generally favour equality. Equity would also require equitableness. A perceived need is different from a proven need based on impartiality, just as a man who obviously cannot walk is put ahead in a queue. On the other hand, perceived needs can be manipulated by the recipient.

These concepts of equality, equity, and equitableness are the root causes behind many disagreements amongst siblings. I work hard, am frugal, and therefore richer, whilst my brother doesn’t work at all, is spendthrift and, therefore, poorer. The family has been supporting him for years. Is it now fair that he is, nonetheless, entitled to a generous share of the family assets to my disadvantage? Or, I run the family corporation and, unlike the others who don’t contribute much time or effort, I spend countless hours working for the company. As remuneration for my efforts, I keep sensitive information and make unilateral decisions favouring myself as these are, after all, my due. The company would not have been profitable otherwise. What, for example, would have happened if I had allowed my lazy and incompetent brother to join senior management?

Further, Western individualistic* ideas of meritocracy and achieved rights contrast with the Philippine collectivistic** notion of entitlement through ascribed rights, i.e., one has rights by virtue of one’s birth. Thus, the inherited rights of kings and queens are often considered anachronistic. On the other hand, in general, Filipinos believe in ascribed rights—the reason behind the feelings of entitlement amongst family and relatives. Still, some givers find this engendered feelings of entitlement distasteful, but to the receivers, they remain expected as they are, moreover, part of our cultural values of sharing and interdependence.

In order to ward off these potential conflicts, many parents distribute their assets before death. Another solution is to leave a Will, if only to clarify each parent’s wishes and to define expectations amongst the inheritors. In fact, many tax advisers suggest writing a Will, as estate taxes in the Philippines have been decreasing over the years, currently at only 6%, benefiting those with assets. (This can be compared to, say, inheritance tax in the UK, which easily can go to as high as 40%).***

However, writing Wills has not been a tradition in this country, and many are discouraged by its dire reminders of mortality. Sometimes, even a Will doesn’t help, as Anna's account tells us. Of course, keeping jewellery that does not belong exclusively to one is dishonest, as we Filipinos are sometimes accused of dishonesty by many foreigners. But again, perhaps our definition of honesty is different; Filipinos recognise private property, but it is not as sacrosanct as in the West. Therefore, to one who perceives themselves as having less, is it perhaps morally permissible to take from those who have more, even illegally?

All in all, the issue of inheritance is complex. It could help if siblings continue their dialogues with each other to promote greater communication and to encourage a willingness to compromise, if only for the memory of their parents and for being members of one family, held together by ties that bind.

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* Individualism is a cultural orientation that favours personal achievement, independence, self-reliance, autonomy, assertiveness, meritocracy, and competition. The notion of fairness is usually emphasised more in individualistic societies. Examples of highly individualistic countries are the United States and the United Kingdom.

** Collectivism is a cultural orientation that favours group affiliation, harmony, loyalty, generosity, interdependence, cooperation, and accommodation. The concept of private property is weaker, and therefore, fairness in inheritances is emphasised less. An example of a highly collectivistic country is the Philippines

For a more detailed discussion of Collectivism vs Individualism, see V. Hoffarth. When Turtles Come Home. Leicestershire, UK: Troubador Publishing, 2019.

*** Estate tax and inheritance tax are closely related, except that estate tax, as in the Philippines, is paid by the deceased’s estate, whereas inheritance tax, as in the UK, is paid by the inheritor.